Before we get into the topic of signs and synchronicities, there are certain things that we are bound to and worth discussing because they can cause difficulties in recognizing this subtle guidance that is always conspiring for our highest good. Signs and synchronicities are the Universe’s guidance, the mind or flame of the Universe, or whatever name and label we can come up with. They come from the Universal mind or the unconscious and are not manifest in the physical or merely coincidental but rather meaningful because they validate what we can’t fully see yet and experience on another level other than the physical we are bound to through the five senses. Often these signs and synchronicities are warnings or act as guidance from another energetic realm to help us overcome lessons that we haven’t learned, such as trusting our intuition, and help us understand that when we do pay attention and follow the signs, they can save us from a lot of unnecessary problems and choosing a path that serves our highest good rather than a destructive one that often leads to more unnecessary suffering.
The more we struggle with ourselves and doubt our intuition because we never learned to trust it, perhaps because of various traumas and being victims of narcissistic abuse during childhood or because of a lot of betrayal and backstabbing, which causes a lot of trust issues and hidden anger and resentments, the more we are susceptible to completely ignoring this subtle guidance that can help us align with a more optimum timeline regarding relationships, our careers, and overall our happiness and fulfillment. Often we project our woundedness onto others, and we do this unconsciously because we struggle with taking accountability for our contribution to our own suffering and problems, etc. I have spoken about this in-depth in my book HOW TO GET ON THE GOOD SIDE OF LIFE.
Many problems that arise, including our inability to trust ourselves or the paths we choose, are due to our inability to love ourselves fully and have the courage to be accepting and authentic in who we are. The greatest gift we can give to this world is to be our most authentic selves, as it heals our ancestry and all the problems that arise by unconsciously passing this woundedness through our choices and actions onto the external world. When we can’t love ourselves for who we are, we overgive, become people-pleasers, overcompensate, create addictions, and lack healthy boundaries from a place of disempowerment or a victim attitude. When we have been deeply hurt in the past or throughout our upbringing, we unconsciously think we deserve what happened to us or become abusive in one way or another instead of the person who has survived the abuse.
When we become somewhat aware of all this, that something within us needs to change, or when someone comes into our life and acts as a catalyst to this change, the signs and synchronicities become more and more apparent to help us release the old, release the toxic energies, all the addictions we may have picked up in order to survive the abuse and to move into a life of purpose. And when we choose to evolve and move into a life of purpose, we see that we have to leave a lot of the old behind, whether it’s places and people that no longer align with where we are going. There will be people we will no longer be in vibratory alignment with, such as our significant other, family members, co-workers, jobs, places, and things we cannot take with us to this new timeline. And with every change, there is grief, even when it is a change for the better, because there will always be something, someone, and a part of ourselves that we need to allow to die. And this is especially true when it comes to our addictions and insecurities.
Stepping into our power | Signs & synchronicities
For the most part, we are unaware of half of our psychological wounding, traumas, or the abuse we have been subjected to and how it has molded us into who we are. We use addictions to avoid examining our emotions and how we truly feel about ourselves and other people. And although change is scary, when we are going through a profound change or awakening, the ego looks for little parts of our life to cling to and exert control over in order to feel safe. Especially when our insecurities rise to the surface and we are forced to face them, whether it’s insecurities about our body, our face, our status, what we have achieved in life, etc. Because of our anxieties due to these insecurities, the ego does its best to cling to what thinks it’s safe, but when in reality, it only causes more harm because it is resisting the inevitable. When we resist change and refuse to listen to this higher guidance, the Universe will eventually step in and teach us to listen through harsher lessons and longer cycles of transition. In other words, our evolution will become more painful as we remain unconscious.
If we want the Universe’s guidance to become more apparent in our lives so that we are more in flow and not in resistance with our evolution and this higher guidance through signs and synchronicities, which are always around us by the way and come in ways that we often overlook or consider mere coincidences, we have to make the conscious choice to step into our power. Again I have spoken about all of this in my book HOW TO GET ON THE GOOD SIDE LIFE, available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. We have to embrace the archetype of the magician, which is all about self-mastery. We have to be willing to move away from a world of dependency and reclaim our personal authority as self-directed and conscious, ready to take on responsibility for ourselves. It’s about coming into unity with ourselves and truly appreciating ourselves from this moment and not looking to the future or the past, what we could be, or what we weren’t, but learning to appreciate who we are now and using that energy and power to create the life that we want.
If we want to step into our power, we have to recognize the walls we have built around our hearts and how disconnected we have become from ourselves and the waters of our own subconscious, our emotions, because to connect with our emotions and ourselves also means to connect with trauma. But the ego, which lives in our mind, will do everything in its power to keep us safe through avoidance. And this is especially true for those of us who were raised by a generation that taught us to keep silent and never discuss our emotions. People could die in the family, but no one ever spoke or communicated about their feelings and simply powered through it. Or if we did express our emotions, we were abused and taught to numb them down, dismiss them, or perhaps were made fun of and never received the support we needed because our caretakers didn’t know what actual support meant, even when it came to the relationship with themselves.
If we want to step into our power and allow the Universe to guide us, we have to recognize our own co-dependent, dysfunctional, and toxic relationships that no longer serve us but bring out the worst in ourselves and others. Whether they are platonic, romantic, or even in the workplace, these are all karmic connections that we have outgrown or are in the process of outgrowing as we embrace change. And by karmic connections, it is meant connections that we have established through ego and a sense of disempowerment and not our true selves. Because of co-dependency, these karmic connections will often enable and feed our addictions and traumas instead of healing them. As we consciously embrace change and our evolution, we may soon realize that many people surrounding us are emotionally manipulative or even covert narcissists, or we may see some of these tendencies within ourselves as we battle for power. And the more we heal, the more tired we become of that dysfunction and won’t be able to stand in the presence of those energies. This is true for all connections, family connections, as well as our work relationships.
Ending the cycle of people-pleasing & overcompensating
When deeply wounded, we unconsciously feel we must overcompensate or people-please. This tendency to overcompensate often comes from a fear of abandonment and a deep sense of unresolved guilt. This could be a mother wound or a father wound, or both. If one or both parents walked out on us or were emotionally absent because of their own traumas and addictions, and logged off, meaning they were physically present but neither capable of giving nor receiving love or validation, we will grow up with an ever-present void in our hearts. Our parents teach us about relationships, our relationship with ourselves, and the relationships we establish with others. And before we’re able to cultivate our own idea of who we are, our self-image, self-esteem, value, and worth, it’s our parents who help us lay that foundation within ourselves first. But if one or both parents aren’t functioning in that role, we are left with a big hole, a big void within ourselves, and we try to find this validation externally, often at the expense of who we truly are.
As we work on ourselves internally and awaken to how valuable we are by letting go of old and negative belief systems, we realize that we are worthy of connections and jobs that give as much as it receives. When we embrace change by awakening to our true selves, we realize how many relationships, whether platonic, romantic, or work-related are completely unbalanced. And this is especially true if we sacrifice our own dreams, sense of self, and authenticity. When we have a deep father or mother wound, their presence or absence can have a great impact on our self-esteem and worldview. Often we adopt a mindset of lack and feel we need to be perfect to be admired and loved. The ego never feels good enough, but this is only the result of trauma and a perspective that doesn’t serve us and needs to be released. You are good enough. You were always special, and you were always valuable, and your uniqueness makes you more so. The ego will betray our own hearts only to project a false image of perfection to the outside world because it doesn’t seek authenticity. It seeks safety, acceptance, and validation through the external at the expense of not being in touch with who we truly are. This is what ego-transcendence is all about and why awakening our consciousness is so important to live in alignment with our truth.
Authenticity | The greatest gift we can give the world
As we become our most authentic selves, we will shift many subconscious patterns adopted through our ancestry and family lineage. We will no longer feel the need to morph ourselves or change ourselves to conform or fit some sort of expectation or mold either at the workplace, in society, or within our social circle and family. It is an alchemical process that takes place within our own psyche, our own being, as we allow the light of spirit, our own intuition filter through. It takes strength to free ourselves from cycles of inequality, from subconscious patterns of begging for approval or validation, but when we find it within ourselves, everything else begins to shift as we manifest a whole new paradigm for ourselves. As we allow the old ways to die and make way for the new, we free ourselves from old subconscious programming that does not align with our authentic selves. We end cycles of self-sacrifice, settling for less than what we deserve, being too concerned about what other people think, playing small, and being bound to rigid and outdated ways of thinking, especially when we unconsciously do this for others’ approval or to cater to others’ needs and please them because of co-dependency.
We can go our entire life subconsciously looking for something sacred, something we feel was stolen from us or has been lost but, in truth, was inside us all along. This is especially true for those of us who were subjected to abuse as children, in whatever form or family dynamic that came. That little spark we had was stolen from us because of abuse and a lack of validation, and we seek that external validation because a part of us still seeks it from that parent that never gave it to us. But as we learn to connect with our intuition and stand in our power, it will lead us to cut certain things out of our life, like unnecessary drama, toxic and negative people, or habits that are no longer in alignment with our authentic selves. In order to do this, we have to become aware if we are innately passive, if we have a hard time saying no to people and lack boundaries, and are not fully stepping into our power and consciously integrating both feminine and masculine principles in our psyche. The masculine principle is our center of personal power and self-esteem. When we work on consciously integrating the masculine principle, we have the courage to face and confront everything around us head-on. We can confront old subconscious programming and subconscious comfort zones or traditional views without fear as we realize the things holding us back from aligning with our truth.
How to recognize signs and synchronicities
We’ve come to the easiest part of it all. Signs and synchronicities are all around and all of the time. All it takes is being more in tune with our inner selves and our inner journey and being more observant of our surroundings. My latest synchronicity which referred to an old traumatic event I hadn’t really addressed yet, came in an exam I was taking through an online course. One of the questions contained the name of a specific place that referred back to that event and that person, which I needed to readdress so that I could finally release the old with understanding and awareness. Remember, our awakening is very much a journey of self-evaluation, self-inquiry, or self-awareness.
And while taking accountability and being able to judge ourselves and our actions is needed, we should never resort to self-hatred and wallow in guilt and shame because self-hatred can only lead to mental anguish and disorders and a far more distorted perspective of what and who we truly are. Self-hatred pushes us further away from doing the very thing that helps us awaken, which is confronting the unknown, that which we thought was dead but never fully buried or resolved. Only through self-acceptance and self-love can we look at the parts of ourselves that we suppress and hate. These are all past experiences that still affect how we move through reality to this day. Synchronicities and signs occur in various ways, like billboards, a friend revealing a dream, song lyrics, social media posts, or strangers walking by talking about a specific place or time that is not a coincidence but meaningful as it relates to our own occurrences. All we have to do is pay attention and make the right connection as they reveal themselves while always around us.
Don’t miss this post here: The Art of Alchemy
