In today’s society, everyone wants to be superior. This is our most common struggle and everyone will strive for a sense of superiority in their own unique way. Women will often seek to live up to the latest beauty standards which results in looking like everyone else in the process, something that amazes me nowadays. Meanwhile, men can often struggle with the pressures of ambition and success. Both these attitudes lack an understanding of integration in the process of self-realization.
All of these internal pressures can leave us feeling inadequate in one way or another and we fail to realize that superiority is more so living from the best part of ourselves. It is a process of constant growth, in alignment with the highest concepts of our character and conduct. Anytime we elevate ourselves above selfish or destructive actions, we become a superior person and it radiates from the inside out. So if the mind cannot work in harmony with emotional pressures, we fail to govern ourselves in a way that supports our self-realization and long-term happiness and well-being.
We are all witnesses to the emotional and physical consequences of thought. We can deplete ourselves of good health because of our thoughts, especially when we don’t meet our desires. And if we are guided to be tempered, there’s almost an immediate objection to it, whether it’s about becoming the next millionaire or winning the affection of that special person we want. Therefore the mind is the same mind that gets us in trouble as well as out of trouble, and it has to be taught how to govern.
A mind that works in harmony with our emotions and protects the rights of the body represents the best form of government that the human being can have. Selfishness, arrogance, codependency, self-neglect, and other negative habits and obscure mental processes not only harm us and those around us but are also destroying our planet.
The Responsibility to Heal Transmitted Traumas
Integration plays a major role in the path to self-realization. The power to integrate parts of ourselves that are unknown and attitudes that are overlooked requires a mind willing to be honest, fair, and above all, reflective. Transmitted traumas are passed on through generations as a coping mechanism when difficulties arise, especially within relationships whether platonic or romantic.
Some of these traumas can manifest as a lack of emotional regulation, where one can’t control their aggression and rage, while others can completely shut down and go silent. Commonly we fear or are reluctant to communicate our boundaries, especially when in the past boundaries were never respected and violated, especially within family dynamics. This is often the result of abusive parents or parents who never modeled healthy coping mechanisms, especially around stress, expectations, boundaries, disagreements, etc.
Honey & Integrity | Power of Integration
Being completely authentic within relationships and in connection to ourselves is a work in progress parallel to our path toward becoming that superior person. Sometimes taking less space and playing small can feel like a safe haven and more easily accepted, and other times we want to take up all of the space, assert ourselves beyond our boundaries, and become overpowering in the process.
This is an act of balance where we learn to show up in all aspects of our lives and be seen for who we truly are without the need to overcompensate for our sense of inadequacy or hide and where we learn to honor and accept our needs, likes, and dislikes before sharing them with the people that are important to us, if ever necessary. Often, just as our boundaries were not met within family dynamics, so were our needs ignored due to transmitted traumas and faulty coping mechanisms which can lead to a lifetime of self-neglect, self-abandonment, or people-pleasing.
It’s important that we learn to communicate our boundaries with other people, what we like or don’t like about what they say or do, because we are giving the other person a chance to be more considerate toward us, and this requires us to show up a bit more vulnerable, especially if it’s a sensitive subject that is being brought up.
This approach also allows us to be seen and to discern whether the people in our lives truly align with our values and deserve our presence. Those unwilling to respect our boundaries often resort to gaslighting, revealing their lack of genuine care for our well-being. Such individuals are best kept at a distance, as we all deserve relationships or connections rooted in love and respect, that are also able to embrace us fully at our best and during our most challenging moments.
