The English word “ego” is the literal translation of the Latin word “I.” To be completely frank, I’m kind of cringing at the fact that I’m still writing about this in 2023. Most people still associate ego with something negative and something we need to fear. And while ego death is real, it is not actually dying but more like expanding one’s self-awareness which is contained in the “I” and our ideas and personal beliefs about what this “I” or self-concept can represent. Because the ego’s primary concern is to create a particular sense of self, it has many protection mechanisms in place to protect it from things that might harm or dismantle it. It ignores and represses different personality traits and aspects of reality that stand in opposition to this self-concept. The ego can be self-congratulatory or self-deprecating depending on how closely we fit with the standards it has set.

Now the question most people are still confused and misguided about is whether we should get rid of the ego. The answer is no because you can’t. It is a natural part of the human psyche. If you try to get rid of the ego, it simply becomes another repression. And not just any repression but the biggest repression because we are repressing our entire self-concept. If you try and do this, life becomes like a game of chess with no king or queen. Life loses all meaning, and the personality begins to degrade and crumble while the ego functions from the shadow, and where we can even become clinically insane if we try. In Jungian psychology, the ego is necessary to form a barrier between the collective unconscious and individual consciousness. I’m not going to elaborate much about it here, but in short, if we didn’t have an ego or self, we wouldn’t be able to operate as individuals, and all the latent archetypes within the collective unconscious would be experienced all at once, leading to psychosis and an impossible existence.

The ego is formed when we begin to separate ourselves from tribal awareness, which is our parents and the environment we are raised in. When we begin to say; my name is … I am this much old, and this is mine, and this is yours. Ego is essentially a mental concept about who we are and what we think we like and dislike. What our musical or dating preferences are, and what we think best suits this idea of ourselves contained in the “I.” The problem is that although ego helps us distinguish ourselves from others while we dress a certain way and choose certain books to read, etc., it is not the entire truth about who and what we are because it is partial and impermanent. It is contained solely in our minds, and it is a complex web of ideas about who we are that can change over time.

Change

Now one way I can convince you that ego is not permanent is by looking at your past. Have your musical preferences changed over the years? Are you dating the same people you dated in your 20s? Do you dress the same as you did when you were a teenager? Do you read the same books or watch the same films you watched when you were younger? I would assume the answer to that question is no unless you’re a statue frozen in time cursed by Zeus. Impermanence is the only constant, in other words, change. And while change can be uncomfortable and sometimes painful because it requires learning to transmute or cope with uncomfortable emotions that stem from old wounds and fear, we cannot resist or stop change. The more you resist change, the more unnecessary suffering you create. 

And this applies to our worldviews and personal beliefs as well. Our beliefs will be challenged, especially on the brink of a new millennium. We are the bridge between two different ages—the age of Pisces and the age of Aquarius. If your beliefs are being challenged, you should feel happy and not fearful during these times. If, when you look back, you wonder if any of it was real or made sense at all, it is a good sign. It means you are growing. It means you are expanding, and it means that you are open to new ideas and a new perspective of self and reality. If I have to be honest, 2022 was a year where I started to question everything I thought I knew and experienced and where things were going. Not just personally but as I watched things unfold in the collective too. The more I write about it, the more excited I get. Remember, we are not meant to stay stuck in the same point of space and time. We are here to evolve, and that means that the way we view things, as real as they were to us and our old self two years ago, will change. And that is good. 

Fear & Survival

Now let’s get back to ego. The ego can be destructive when you choose to stay stuck in a particular perspective that no longer serves you because it is a perspective you created in the past and when you refuse to see certain traits about yourself. It can create blindspots to not deal with the discomfort of having to cast a negative judgment on ourselves. And if you are refusing to see certain traits or aspects of yourself, most times, it is not by choice. We simply lack the tools to understand ourselves on a deeper level. Self-discovery should be taught in school. But schools are not made for free thinkers, and hopefully, we’ll come to that realization soon enough. And please don’t mistake education for schools. Schools and institutions are different from education unless you need a real skill like a doctor. Doctors need practice, and they need school. All that I have learned and written about is self-taught and from experience. Maybe you have a strong opposition to my view, and that’s okay. We all have different views, and I’m not here to say mine is better than yours. But I hope you are open enough to see mine as I stay open to see yours. If I were to have kids, they are certainly not going to school. I will provide them with education but not from schools or institutions, and maybe that’s idealistic, but it is my personal choice.

Why does the ego prevent us from seeing certain aspects of ourselves that perhaps run on autopilot? Where you look back and say, what the hell was I thinking? Why did I do that? Or why did I react like that? It’s mainly due to fear. The ego is like a safe parameter we put around ourselves and the outside world. If you’ve told yourself that you only like the color red because it suits your idea and image and makes you feel good about yourself, but suddenly, you like the color pink. The ego will associate that with danger; you are not safe. Because if all of a sudden you believe that you like pink, then that means your ego is dead. It is no longer alive. Obviously, colors won’t threaten your ego much, but if it comes to more complex ideas and beliefs about self, yes. Your nervous system will feel threatened, and you will be either misguided or blindsided by certain traits that run on autopilot. And when I say on autopilot, I mean on a subconscious level. Your subconscious mind is more associated with your emotional body. I will not go into the subconscious mind in this post, but if you would like to know more and gain more practical tips on self-discovery, you can purchase my book How to Get on the Good Side of Life on Amazon or Barnes & Noble. 

Transcending ego or having an ego death while you expand your self-awareness means being able to let go of who you think you are in the first place and allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to admit your fears, weaknesses, insecurities, and everything you deem negative or bad that can be associated with your image or idea of self. It means to be able to surrender. For instance, I had to admit my fears in order to heal them. If I was abandoned at five, and that made me feel unlovable and undeserving of being loved and having a good life, then obviously, I would have to put on a mask and portray a false sense of confidence to hide that feeling; otherwise, I will not survive out there. That’s how the ego thinks. Now everyone has their own stories and their own challenges, and they will look different. But the point is that ego is simply an attachment of awareness. Let go of the attachment and let your emotions guide you to a bigger truth. Because if you are only rooted in ego, you are mainly rooted in mind and survival, and it is not the entire truth about your badass self anyway. It is partial and sometimes not in tune with your true self, but what you think is true so that it serves an image that is commonly accepted in society, in your family, and social circle.